Heavens below sweet tulip snow. Eating sandwiches upright. Sleeping in ones and twos, who are spoons? Martin Cloone takes a trip to spoons on Tuesday afternoons. Ever wondered how they do it? Well, now you don’t have to 🙂 We’ve done it for you! It’s so easy, even a… no… no hang on, not like that. No, left to right. Look- right foot to left leg. No! Phfff. PULL YOUR FUCKING ELBOWS IN. YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK IT YOU TWAT.

*commercial break*

*soothing muzak plays*

And… We’re back! I’d lke to apologise to you viewers, I rather lost my cool earlier… It’s just- well… when you’ve got a complete PILLOCK in the studio with NO respect for cra–*tsssssssssssssssssssssssssss*

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